Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My breasts were aching with rage.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
