thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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