its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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