3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
