If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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