I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
