Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
