haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Still dying that you shit outside
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
