Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
