my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
