the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
