Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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