so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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