Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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