Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize