Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize