You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize