have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
