You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
