Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
