You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
