Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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