btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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