goodnight i made you a song goodbye
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My ATM looks so different sober.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
