The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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