break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
