Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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