Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Four minutes until I can fart!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
