the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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