Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
is it fun? or sober?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
