Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
