This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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