i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
