i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
