Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
