I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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