Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize