No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
