Grow some girl-balls and come out already
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She told me I should be a condom model.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
