so explain again why im purple
no
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
