i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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