I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
