You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
