she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Use "feeling words"
Yay
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
