Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
