ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
