Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
