What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
