Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
