Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize