ugly people sure do ruin things
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
