So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
