I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
