quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
