Need sex. Gaining weight.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the day after is always just damage control
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
