I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
