I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
