Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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