Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We have so much sex to catch up on
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize