whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
