i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
