3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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