I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
