and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
